On Sunday 7th February 2016, Birmingham Abbasi Youth Network (BAYN) held an extended Sunday evening event titled ‘Marriage the A-Z’. The event focused on four groups of people; those looking for a spouse, those engaged to be married, individuals already married and looking to start a family and those who have been married before or are single parents. Before the event begun we had 64 individuals signed up on EventBrite to attend and seven facilitators confirmed from the Match-Making and Me2We committee. However, Alhamdulilah on the day we had an estimate of 100 people involved; our highest attendance to date.

After a short introduction to the event, it’s ground rules, the speakers and facilitators; Sister Rozmin Khimji delivered a ten minute address which focused on marriage as a blessing, citing specific prophetic narrations and Qur'anic verses to illustrate how many blessings are attained by an individual who has taken the steps to get married and cares for their spouse and family.

 

Following the talk, attendees were split into their three personalised workshop which ran simultaneously. The individuals looking to get married were part of the workshop by Syed Mohammed Naqvi, with the support of Br Shabbir Nanji, Sister Husna Khimji and Br Muslim Khaku. Participants pontificated on questions pertinent to their search for a spouse with members of the opposite gender. Expectations were managed and realigned having been asked whether they could find a perfect match based on their answers. Following a short break he split the fifty strong group, asking them to take on the roles of a parent and child in a discussion about marriage. This activity forced them to think about another perspective in the marriage process and what role parents have in selection. 

Individuals who were engaged or married, participated in a workshop led by marriage experts Abbas and Shaheen Merali. The workshop covered the language of love, conflict resolution, time management and the impact of social media on a relationship. The workshop was facilitated by Sister Afroze Zaidi, Brother Mohammed Kassamali and Brother Sadiq Muraj. Personal examples were given to instruct participants about how to practically apply the content in a relationship. An important point raised was that showing appreciation of what your spouse does for you is paramount and working through disagreements can be made easier by both individuals personally reflecting on their role in the cause of the conflict.

The final group moved to the ladies extension in the Imambargah and was attended by individuals who had previously been married or were single parents. This session was led by Sister Nasim Walji-Pirmohamed and supported by Sister Effat Rajbhai. Participants were encouraged to openly discuss points raised from a lecture delivered by Sister Nasim and through the workshop were given the platform to voice their views in a protected, confidential and safe environment.

Following the workshops participants gathered together in the main hall, an evocative address by Sister Nasim conveyed the need for topics such as divorce, single parenthood and re-marriage to be frequently addressed from the pulpit openly to rid individuals of their culturally assigned stigma.

Finally Syed Naqvi took the stand to talk about the importance of being God conscious throughout the journey of marriage, from the start of looking for a spouse through to having children and beyond. Feedback from the event applauded the efforts of all those involved and asked for another event but with a larger facilitative resource.

BAYN appreciated the support of the EC, Match-Making Committee, Me2We committee, the learned speakers, alims and all of those who attended. We hope to continue serving the community with as much enthusiasm and drive and pray all our events are attended as well as this one.